On behalf of the Hokie Bird and all gobblers everywhere, Campus Emporium begs Hokie fans around the world to spare the lives of our feathered friends this Thanksgiving. Each year billions of innocent turkeys meet their Maker throughout the holiday season, and we say it’s time to stop the slaughter (or just slaughter something else).

Without further ado, Campus Emporium is proud to announce its support of G.O.B.B.L.- Gibleted Objectors to Birds Becoming Leftovers. G.O.B.B.L. was founded in 2006 by a small flock of friends troubled by the annual cooking and devouring of their brethren. Rather than live in fear and denial, the flock decided it was time to take action.

Among G.O.B.B.L.’s most notable achievements are the Million Beak March on Washington, the Cranberry Sauce Boycott of 2007, and several organized “prison breaks” from major poultry farms across the country.

This year G.O.B.B.L. has decided to use the media to spread its message, launching a multi-million dollar ad campaign advocating the consumption of ham over turkey. A spokespig for S.L.O.P (Saving Lives of Pigs) could not be reached for comment.

Campus Emporium has joined forces with G.O.B.B.L. to advocate the consumption of alternative meats for the Holiday season. May we offer the following suggestions…

• Ham. Pigs are cute, but unfortunately are very tasty. Serve it up on our Stadium Platter.
• Venison. Bag one while wearing ourVT Hunt Club Tee.
• Beef. Burgers anyone? It’s never too cold to grill!
• Fish. It’s healthy and delicious, especially in stick form. And kids love ‘em. too!
• Tofu. Errr… Ummm… Might we suggest a wine to pair with it? Get something with an angry-looking animal on the label. And get two of them.
• Ice cream! Hell, you only go around once.

If you would like to join G.O.B.B.L. in its efforts to save the turkeys, show your support by wearing one of these great tees…